Remembering the times of youth

I’ve always tried to find the meaning to the so called “Love” that almost everyone is hungry for. Well Life is filled with choices and whenever it comes to any kind of a situation where you are stuck into a Do or Die you are always given a choice to decide between a Yes and a No. Life brings us many opportunities but accepting it and not accepting could bring us down to many different consequences.

I still remember my first day at college, the day I first went out of my father’s warm feathers and started to fly on my own. Having carried to college all my puppy crushes I used to always wonder if there is something called Love or is it just mere physical relationship that a man and woman have is called Love. I would watch many hindi movies that were always filled romance and the hero and heroine like an Eveready battery always ready to die for one another. At that age Love according to me was just going out, eating out and living with each other and gradually that same attitude imbibed in me for a very long time till I finished college, graduated well Yes but yet without a boyfriend. (very bad huhhh). Mumbai was a place wherein out of every 10 girls 7 had found their so called Lover or with pride introduced as a boy friend. In my locality I would find girls studying in the VI std with a boyfriend, “come on yaar why not me, am i so bad”

This grew as an inferiority complex within me for quite some time and yo I found a job with a 5 figured salary and for me it was the end of the world. I started to buy things and pamper myself by going to the beauty parlour. Straightening my hair, hair coloring, bleaching, facial etc. I was convinced that after all this I must have grown beautiful and atleast now I would find one “BOY FRIEND”. Well so continued my search, today when I sit back and think of all these days I burst out laughing how stupid I was but it’s a phase in everyone’s life.

Let’s get back to our search, now that I was 20 I used to believe that I cannot make a mistake in differentiating the true love from the fake ones since I was grown up now and I was Twentiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I was convinced that I was matured enough to understand anything in life and nothing was impossible for me. My life filled experiences brought me to an end called marriage and today I still wonder if this is love and then I convince myself saying that Yes ofcourse I am married and I should be loving my hubby which I do but then what was all that butterflies in my stomach feeling which would give me so much of pleasure. My life started with a choice and I chose to say “YES”.